Being Me

I’ve never had a problem with knowing what I wanted and exactly where I expected to go, it’s just that lately there are been some opportunities that I thought would help me reach those points. Then I learned that making those moves would prevent me from doing the things that would help me grow as an author, so I put an end to it. Reason being they prevented me from being the person I wanted to be and I can’t abide by that. I’ve always been reasonable in certain situations but when you try to bully me or guilt me into making a move I’m neither comfortable with or ready for, I have to put the breaks on it.

I’m at the age where every decision has a consequence and one should tread lightly while doing them and not take anything for granted. I have a motto that I live by which is: Always have a plan, never leave your wellbeing in somebody else’s hands. No truer words have ever been spoken especially lately when I felt people didn’t have my best interest at heart and were only looking out for themselves. I have learned in my eight years in this business to always look out for number one or you’ll libel to step in number two. That’s it for now, until next time: Where love resides-Temari

I am

I am enough. I am full of sparkle and compassion. I genuinely want to make the world a better place. I love heard. I practice kindness. I am not afraid of the truth. I am loyal, adventurous, supportive and surprising. I am a weaver of stories. I am enough.

Starting Over

You’ll notice that things are looking a bit different, that’s because I am an independent author again. I realize I am better off on my own until I can find something that suits me. I admit, it’s daunting and freeing all at the same time, but I know this is what’s best for me and my peace of mind. I can’t abide by the antagonistic behavior I have experienced recently, I’m much too old for that.

Someone once said that we must find the courage to leave the table if respect is no longer being served, and that was most definitely the case. What you allow will most assuredly continue and I wasn’t going to not for one minute longer remain in that situation, so I left before I got even more mired in it. It’s just like I may have stated in a recent post, sometimes people pretend you’re a bad person so they don’t feel guilty about the things they did to you, and are much more than the things that have been done to you. And lastly my friends, do not trade your authenticity for approval. That’s it for now. Where love resides-Temari

Freedom Dance

It’s been a long hard road to get to where I am today, let me tell you. There was a lot of heartburn and heartache to reach this point. I don’t know about the rest of y’all but when you have someone’s thumb constantly on you and feel as though it’s stifling you and feel trapped, that was me.

A friend of mine recently made a comment that I was quote ‘cleaning out my closet’ to coin an Eminem phrase. Anywho, if you knew even half the story you’d understand the reason for this post. I didn’t like that feeling that loomed over me like an ominous presence that I couldn’t quite shake. But I had faith that the Most High above would deliver me from evil and he did and I am most grateful. To the person reading this, don’t let anything or anybody make you feel like you need them to be successful, you don’t. The only thing you need is God above and the faith that he will carry you through. That’s it for now, until next time; where love resides-Temari

Testing Ones Patience

Let me just say the one thing I dislike with a passion is when someone tests my patience. Last night that exact thing happened and I just want that person to know I did not appreciate it. Now back to what I was saying, I realize that oftentimes I lack patience with some areas but in this day in age where time is precious and of the essence, I don’t have time for a ‘pop up conversation.’ Do not ask me a question and then argue with me if I don’t respond the way you expect or provide the answer you are looking for. And just a reminder, I belong to no one, I answer to no one but God. And if I give you my time, it’s a privilege. Not an obligation.

My husband often says I need to work on my patience because I’m too eager to see things come into fruition. I agree, I do need to exercise it in everything I do, whether it’s planning my day or even accomplishing goals. But that’s something that will continue to be a work in progress as time goes by. In closing, the last two and a half years have been trying for yours truly and I am in the process of making some major changes in my career and it’s not easy, far from it and my lack of patience will rear its ugly head, it’s expected so do not be surprise if the snarky part of me appears during the interaction. That’s it for now, until next time, where love resides-Temari

Self Worth

Every morning at five minutes to eight I join the Feed Your Dreams room on Clubhouse. And today’s topic was ‘What are you doing to feed your dreams?’ And during the ‘pass the mike’ segment everyone was asked what they were doing to further their dreams? During one testimony there was a lady a motivational speaker and the story began with her being asked to be a part of a collaboration in which they inquired ‘what could someone do for her?’. And she said she didn’t need anything necessarily and would be willing to do whatever was needed for free. Now this is where everyone weighed in. The first question was ‘why would she do it for free?’ and she responded by saying it would help drive traffic to her webpage or blog or whatever. And one person said she was selling herself short. Because surely her time and knowledge was worth something and she deserved to be compensated.

When it was my turn to weigh in I told her my story, that once upon a time I was the ‘free lady’. The person that everyone went to when they wanted something done for free. And neither one of us should sell ourselves short for pennies on the dollar, we’re worth more than that. Then I got to thinking about the fact that everyone of us at some point in our lives undervalued ourselves. Don’t do that. Why because your self worth should not have a ‘free’ label stamped on it. And just like that young lady, whatever it is that you have to contribute is worth it’s weight in gold and should be treated as such. So, the next time someone tries to get something for nothing, ask yourself this ‘What label should be placed on me. Will it be ‘Free’ or ‘For a fee’? That’s it for now, until next time. Where love resides-Temari

The Apology Train.

Why is it lately that everyone and their momma is feeling the need to apologize for something they said or did? Whether it’s politician or the President himself. And I’m like, seriously? Do they honestly believe people are going to let you forget that particular thing? The answer is no they are not. Why because social media and screen shots exist, which are apparently called, ‘receipts’ (Insert eyeroll) and sooner or later it will resurface.

Last year child star Nick Cannon made a statement regarding his belief in who he is and everyone and their momma jumped on him like he nuked the city. And I was like, if this is what he believes then let him. It doesn’t mean we should tell him he’s wrong. If you’re reading this and saying ‘what the heck is she talking about?’ I suggest you Google it because I’m not going to get into it the semantics of what was said.

Getting back to the topic at hand, which is the need to apologize for any and everything. In my humble opinion that isn’t necessary. Why, because it’s already out there and people aren’t likely to forget. Trust me when I say this. I remember an incident the last time my family were together during a relatives funeral and during dinner something that occurred when I was nine came up in conversation. And from there it just snowballed and each person felt the need to weigh in on said incident with their own take.

Naturally I was annoyed and wanted to ask, ‘why are you bringing this up? This happened forty-one years ago, for crying out loud! Why can’t we discuss something new, like what’s everyone up to. Then it dawned on me that is if I did that, I would spend the remainder of the visit on the apology train, which I was NOT going to do. With that being said, if you find yourself tempted to issue an apology for whatever, think to yourself, ‘Is this really necessary?’ And what would be the reason for it? That’s it for now. Until next time, where love resides-Temari

The Face of A Good Friend

In the days of the so-called ‘cancel culture’ just let me say it’s always nice to have someone talk you down off the proverbial ledge or offer some encouragement. You have no idea how much it’s needed in these changing times.

Earlier this year I got an invitation from my writing accountability partner to join the new platform Clubhouse. Naturally I was a little skeptical about it and figured it was just another useless platform that’s the next shiny thing, but I was wrong. Because in just a few months I have made connections with some phenomenal men and women. And it’s changed the way I see myself going forward in terms of my writing journey. And since then I will be making some major changes and am going to put a few things into action thanks to the advice I’ve gotten. So, if you aren’t on there, you’re surely missing out, trust me on this. The beauty of this platform is there is literally something for everyone and in every time zone too. That’s it for now, until next time, where love resides-Temari.

A New Thing

In this life, everyone is fascinated with anything introduced to the masses as the quote, ‘Next best thing’. Admittedly including myself. In the age where everything old is new again, I don’t get excited the way I used to. You know why, it’s all been done. The bible says there is nothing new under the sun. Absolutely nothing. The reason I say this is if you take a hard look at trends you’ll realize they really aren’t new. Whether it’s a cellphone, computer, IPAD, or fashion style. Trust me, when I say it’s all been done. I don’t get why people will flock to the stores, stand in lines for hours if need be for something that’s essentially old hat. It’s just been polished up to make it seem different just to get your money. Period. In all honesty, I am not mesmerized by the shiny new thing put in front of me. Aside from the fact that my pocketbook won’t allow it, it just doesn’t impress me not even a little bit. Take this new thing Amazon just started, or even Clubhouse. These things are good for that people need them for, but aside from that, as I said earlier in the post, it’s all been done. That’s it for now: Where love resides-Temari